Had a lunch date yesterday with a guy that I thought had potential. This is what happens when you think. "I really like you and I would pursue you, but you live in Orem and Point of the Mountain is as far as I go."
Wow, thanks for letting me know that I'm not worth the 20 minutes.
Check please.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
What goes around comes around....
Still no new dates, but thought it was worth noting that I ran into Mr. Denim last week at lunch. And DJ Jalal, the date was so horrible I never even blogged about it, sat next to me at lunch three days ago....don't worry I told him I moved to San Diego two months ago. Woopsy!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Slow Summer Days
Just wanted to update that I took a little break from dating. After some of the crazies I met I needed to press pause. No worries though I have a date this week with my New Jersey Plumber. Good time ahead!
Happy Week to all.
Happy Week to all.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Lite (in the loafers?) Bites
Ever gone to lunch with a new dating prospect and you just start playing 20 questions? Well, those of you who know me know i'm not one to enjoy "quiet" so I ask away.
The other day at my lunch date, I asked this question, "Who is your Hollywood Crush"
I was anticipating an answer of perhaps Angelina Jolie, Catherine Zeta Jones or Beyonce.
No, his answer came quick, with little pause "Paul Walker"
I couldn't get out of there too fast or too furiously. :)
The other day at my lunch date, I asked this question, "Who is your Hollywood Crush"
I was anticipating an answer of perhaps Angelina Jolie, Catherine Zeta Jones or Beyonce.
No, his answer came quick, with little pause "Paul Walker"
I couldn't get out of there too fast or too furiously. :)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Bill and Jen's Excellent Adventure
Everything about this date was going all too well, that should have been a tip off. :)
We had a lovely dinner, "Bill" chose a nice restaurant and was a total gentleman the whole evening. I was really starting to like him and guess what, Bill was feeling me too. However, Bill was a little too comfortable with me and the evening took a turn for the worst when he said "Can I tell you something without you judging me?"
I told him "of course" but you and I both know the second someone tells you that whatever is about to come out of their mouth next is going to be something that you WILL judge them on. So I braced myself for what came next, thought of a few scenerios. And decided that as long as it wasn't worse than an extra toe that I'd be ok with it.
Bill: "Well Jen, I really like Ecstasy and I have Rave parties in my basement. We set up the fog machine and glow lights and They are soo fun."
Right. Did I mention that "Bill" is divorced, 37 years old with Two 11 year old twins? Not Excellent! Totally untubular and radical.
Know any guys with extra toe's? Turns out it's not that bad of a thing.......
We had a lovely dinner, "Bill" chose a nice restaurant and was a total gentleman the whole evening. I was really starting to like him and guess what, Bill was feeling me too. However, Bill was a little too comfortable with me and the evening took a turn for the worst when he said "Can I tell you something without you judging me?"
I told him "of course" but you and I both know the second someone tells you that whatever is about to come out of their mouth next is going to be something that you WILL judge them on. So I braced myself for what came next, thought of a few scenerios. And decided that as long as it wasn't worse than an extra toe that I'd be ok with it.
Bill: "Well Jen, I really like Ecstasy and I have Rave parties in my basement. We set up the fog machine and glow lights and They are soo fun."
Right. Did I mention that "Bill" is divorced, 37 years old with Two 11 year old twins? Not Excellent! Totally untubular and radical.
Know any guys with extra toe's? Turns out it's not that bad of a thing.......
Monday, April 5, 2010
Bullets and Bowling
You heard me, my date packed heat to go bowling. Should I even say more than that? Vindication did come when he went to throw what was probably going to be yet another strike and he hit his funny bone on his gun: next stop gutter ball city.
I will say that the alley we went to was not the nicest and in a sketchier part of town, but glocks and granny rolls just don't mix.
Because I prefer to not wear a bullet proof vest when hanging with boys I think I'll have to pass. Best of luck "John McClane" in finding a new leading lady to protect.
I will say that the alley we went to was not the nicest and in a sketchier part of town, but glocks and granny rolls just don't mix.
Because I prefer to not wear a bullet proof vest when hanging with boys I think I'll have to pass. Best of luck "John McClane" in finding a new leading lady to protect.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
(Over) Sharing
Kid you not the conversation I had on my lunch date today.
"Well my first wife, she was crazy. I can't believe I had two kids with her. If they didn't look like me, I wouldn't believe it. I don't even remember us having sex twice. Now, my second wife, that's a total different story. She and I, I mean we hit it all the time. I believe we did it more in the first two months then I ever did in the 6 years I was married to my first wife."
I felt like the only thing appropriate to say back was "My favorite color is blue."
CHECK PLEASE.
"Well my first wife, she was crazy. I can't believe I had two kids with her. If they didn't look like me, I wouldn't believe it. I don't even remember us having sex twice. Now, my second wife, that's a total different story. She and I, I mean we hit it all the time. I believe we did it more in the first two months then I ever did in the 6 years I was married to my first wife."
I felt like the only thing appropriate to say back was "My favorite color is blue."
CHECK PLEASE.
Friday, March 12, 2010
It's Just Lunch
You know I always see the advertisements for "It's Just Lunch" everytime I'm on a plane and think to myself "that might be fun, I mean lunch isn't that long"
Just to clear that myth up; when you meet a more than slightly awkward fellow for lunch and all he does is talk to your chest. It can seem very long.
For the record, they don't talk back.
Check please.
Just to clear that myth up; when you meet a more than slightly awkward fellow for lunch and all he does is talk to your chest. It can seem very long.
For the record, they don't talk back.
Check please.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
I'm a joker, I'm a toker...
So I met Mr. Tall, dark and handsome and found very little to disagree with. Went out on first date, he took me on a real date to a real restaurant and then to the movies. Success. A second date was made. I took the liberty of planning numero dos.
We both are fairly active people, so I decided that he would be the perfect person to accompany me to my Crossfit (a very intense workout), and then make dinner at my place. "Steve Miller" was down and excited for the evening. I met him at the Crossfit gym and it was on.
At the end of the workout I was feeling worked! I looked over to see how Steve was doing and he was lying down on the floor, arms over his head, pale and sweaty. I'm not sure but I think he passed out and that's how he landed on the floor. You can imagine I felt horrible. Dinner was obviously on me.
Steve drove all the way to my house with his windows down, and it was cold, too cold for that nonsense. We got to my place and I made sure to get him a drink and had him take it easy. I started preparing dinner and then asked him if he was ok.
Me: Are you ok, doing better?
Steve: Yes, I feel better now thanks. It's just the weirdest thing, I mean I smoke pot before every workout and it usually helps me focus and perform at my best. But tonight it just wiped me out.
Me: So you smoke pot before every workout to "focus"? How often do you work out?
Steve: Every day.
Once I heard that the only thing I wanted to do was "Fly like an Eagle" out of my own place.....And the least he could've done was tell me that while we were at the store, instead of the elaborate meal I made I could've just picked up cheetoh's and ho-ho's and called it a night.
We both are fairly active people, so I decided that he would be the perfect person to accompany me to my Crossfit (a very intense workout), and then make dinner at my place. "Steve Miller" was down and excited for the evening. I met him at the Crossfit gym and it was on.
At the end of the workout I was feeling worked! I looked over to see how Steve was doing and he was lying down on the floor, arms over his head, pale and sweaty. I'm not sure but I think he passed out and that's how he landed on the floor. You can imagine I felt horrible. Dinner was obviously on me.
Steve drove all the way to my house with his windows down, and it was cold, too cold for that nonsense. We got to my place and I made sure to get him a drink and had him take it easy. I started preparing dinner and then asked him if he was ok.
Me: Are you ok, doing better?
Steve: Yes, I feel better now thanks. It's just the weirdest thing, I mean I smoke pot before every workout and it usually helps me focus and perform at my best. But tonight it just wiped me out.
Me: So you smoke pot before every workout to "focus"? How often do you work out?
Steve: Every day.
Once I heard that the only thing I wanted to do was "Fly like an Eagle" out of my own place.....And the least he could've done was tell me that while we were at the store, instead of the elaborate meal I made I could've just picked up cheetoh's and ho-ho's and called it a night.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Gaylord Focker
Yes, that's right, I went out with a male nurse. A murse as I like to call them. Everything about this date probably should have made me sick enough to go to the MD afterward, but that is besides the point. Here are the highlights.
1. Met Murse and his friends, murse informs friends we met at the gym. This is indeed false.
2. Murse takes me to dinner. To a $5.99 Buffett (it was actually good, but come on, please let me know you think I'm worth more than that. And if not, take me to McDonalds instead)
3. The entire evening I think murse is trying to take my stats sans stethoscope, as he is very very handsy!
4. Murse doesn't leave a tip on the table for the cleanup crew, classy. Sometimes this is acceptable, however when he paid at the front counter they specifically asked "would you like to leave a tip on your card for the wait staff". Murse said no and acted like he checked his wallet to confirm he had cash.
5. At the end of the evening, murse attempted to "take my temperature" by slipping something under my tongue! Yeah right!
Turns out, murse was onto something as after the date, I felt the need for some medical attention; perhaps some prescriptions for some hard core drugs to pretend that this date never actually took place. No wonder Doogie Howser went gay.
1. Met Murse and his friends, murse informs friends we met at the gym. This is indeed false.
2. Murse takes me to dinner. To a $5.99 Buffett (it was actually good, but come on, please let me know you think I'm worth more than that. And if not, take me to McDonalds instead)
3. The entire evening I think murse is trying to take my stats sans stethoscope, as he is very very handsy!
4. Murse doesn't leave a tip on the table for the cleanup crew, classy. Sometimes this is acceptable, however when he paid at the front counter they specifically asked "would you like to leave a tip on your card for the wait staff". Murse said no and acted like he checked his wallet to confirm he had cash.
5. At the end of the evening, murse attempted to "take my temperature" by slipping something under my tongue! Yeah right!
Turns out, murse was onto something as after the date, I felt the need for some medical attention; perhaps some prescriptions for some hard core drugs to pretend that this date never actually took place. No wonder Doogie Howser went gay.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Malt Man
So I admit that I call every guy that I go out with a "kid", and usually the median age of those I date is around 33. However when you meet someone in a dimly lit bar, it's hard to tell. So when I originally met Malt Man age was difficult to determine. He was with a group of guys and the bar was scarce. My friend and I approached them and started the introductions. Shortly after we walked away. A few minutes later, I walked past the table of young gentleman and Malt Man shouted "Jen come back here and keep entertaining us" Who was I to say no?
A few jokes later phone numbers were exchanged. A few weeks later a text message was received and a date was arranged. Originally MM had wanted to grab a drink, but after I reminded him that I don't consume alcoholic beverages he threw out "I want to buy you a malt"
Who was I to say no?
Met MM at a restaurant in town specializing in malts and when he arrived, he looked different then I remembered. By different I mean short and young. Turns out he is 22, fresh out of college! WHA? Turns out he lives with his grandma. WHA? Turns out his favorite past time is tending to his garden. WHA? Turns out I needed to leave right after I finished my malt.
A few jokes later phone numbers were exchanged. A few weeks later a text message was received and a date was arranged. Originally MM had wanted to grab a drink, but after I reminded him that I don't consume alcoholic beverages he threw out "I want to buy you a malt"
Who was I to say no?
Met MM at a restaurant in town specializing in malts and when he arrived, he looked different then I remembered. By different I mean short and young. Turns out he is 22, fresh out of college! WHA? Turns out he lives with his grandma. WHA? Turns out his favorite past time is tending to his garden. WHA? Turns out I needed to leave right after I finished my malt.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Yet Another Frog...At Least I Don't Think Prince's Wear Fitted Distressed Denim Jackets...
Oh yes the always comfortable meeting of a stranger at a bar. Why I continue to do this is the question, I mean don't we know where this is going to end up? Well if nothing else I can tell you where it begins.
Que "Frog" entering the bar I see him, realize it's him and immediately wish this bar was called The Red (Trap) Door so that I could escape. I'm not trying to be rude, but the guy came walking in sporting a tight distressed zip up denim jacket; collar included. I can't even tell you what was on underneath as the trendy piece never got unzipped. Frog took a seat and immediately said what would you like to drink. Don't worry that we had already discussed that I don't drink. So when I reiterated this fact, his immediate response was "Why not, what happens to you? do you get crazy??"
WOW. We are then quickly launched into a conversation of "you must try things in order to learn and evolve." Which then somehow finished with "money doesn't matter in life and that Frog knows he could have a wonderful life raising bad ass kids barefoot in Mexico making less than $25k. "
I don't argue with Frog, but guess what- those bad ass kids won't be mine.
Til next time..............
Que "Frog" entering the bar I see him, realize it's him and immediately wish this bar was called The Red (Trap) Door so that I could escape. I'm not trying to be rude, but the guy came walking in sporting a tight distressed zip up denim jacket; collar included. I can't even tell you what was on underneath as the trendy piece never got unzipped. Frog took a seat and immediately said what would you like to drink. Don't worry that we had already discussed that I don't drink. So when I reiterated this fact, his immediate response was "Why not, what happens to you? do you get crazy??"
WOW. We are then quickly launched into a conversation of "you must try things in order to learn and evolve." Which then somehow finished with "money doesn't matter in life and that Frog knows he could have a wonderful life raising bad ass kids barefoot in Mexico making less than $25k. "
I don't argue with Frog, but guess what- those bad ass kids won't be mine.
Til next time..............
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